6/8/09

Chapter 21. The Prophets. 112 verses.

Picture it. Some crazy guy comes wandering down out of the hills and says he talks to god. You want proof, right? Those Arabs weren't stupid, they asked the same thing from Mohammed:
5 ... “bring us a Sign like the ones that were sent to (Prophets) of old!"
God's telling the story, and he says naw, yer wrong,
7 ... the apostles We sent were but men, to whom We granted inspiration ...
8 Nor did We give them bodies that ate no food, nor were they exempt from death.
He seems to be saying none of the other prophets did any miracles, so he don't gotta neither, nyahh nyahh. I guess we're not supposed to remember Moses's magic wand, or even later in this same chapter when they try to burn Abe at the stake and
69 We said, "O Fire! be thou cool, and (a means of) safety for Abraham!"

Too bad they didn't try that with Mo. He'd've won them pagans over for sure if he would've pulled a Sam McGee. And if he didn't, well, that would've saved the whole world a lot of grief.

When they ask why anybody should believe him, god (aka Mohammed) just keeps repeating how god made everything, people didn't appreciate him, and then he killed them all. That's really his only argument. We've blogged thru over half the koran by now and three quarters of it consists of nothing else but this, so when it blows a whole chapter on different ways to say it again, excuse me if I'm not transported into a frenzy of religious ecstasy. Or still awake. They could just say (repeat chorus) 112 times. Save ink.


Al-zheimers-lah says he created man from dust (3:59), fermented clay (15:26) semen (16:4) a soul (4:1) dust-sperm-clot-flesh (22:5), so it's no surprise when the old gent blurts out another one:
(21:30) We made from water every living thing.
God should stay on his meds.

And finally, a quiz.

BZZZZT! Wrong. None of the above. The good things are how much land you control, how big your borders are, how big your empire is, how much power you have. God says so, see?
44 Nay, We gave the good things of this life to these men and their fathers until the period grew long for them; See they not that We gradually reduce the land (in their control) from its outlying borders?

This is just so spiritual and uplifting, I could just go out and knock off a convenience store.

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