7/7/10

the Devil is an Orgasm

Long drawn-out passionate kisses, your lover nibbling your earlobe,  licking your neck,  passion building out of control, you're melting, when suddenly "Father, send your Holy Spirit int..."

You leap to your feet screaming WHAT THE FUCK WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO and too late you remember, this person is a Catholic,
just saying the "Prayer Before Making Love", like it says to do in the Prayer Book  for  Spouses that the
Catholic  Truth  Society murdered innocent trees to reprint. While you mourn the loss of the trees, the mood, and your complete lack of sense in relationships, your once-lover now specimen under psychological observation mumbles the rest of their incantation,

... into our hearts. Place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes.
Open our hearts to you, to each other and to the goodness of your will.
Cover our poverty in the richness of your mercy and forgiveness.
Clothe us in our true dignity and take to yourself our shared aspirations, for your glory, for ever and ever. Mary, our Mother, intercede for us. Amen
By now you're dressed and out the door, resolved to never have anything to do with Catholics or other insane persons.
Note: that'll include Musims, they do the same thing, and provide me a title for this post, from the comments.

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