1/30/12

the Year of the Lolcat


Since all 193 members of the Pennsylvania Clown Car just passed House Resolution 535 without one single one of them standing up and shouting
"Is this stupid shit what they're paying us 174 grand a year to do?"
(193 x 174 = 33.6 million dollars), I offer this helpful amendment.


THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF PENNSYLVANIA
AMENDMENT TO HOUSE RESOLUTION
No. 535 Session of 2012

 JANUARY 23, 2012

INTRODUCED AS NONCONTROVERSIAL amendment to RESOLUTION UNDER RULE 35, JANUARY 23, 2012

A RESOLUTION An amendment

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Declaring 2012 as the "Year of the Lolcat Bible" in Pennsylvania.
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WHEREAS, The Bible, the ostensible word of the God of the Old Testament, arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.”1 has made a unique
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contribution in shaping the United States as a distinctive and
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ostensibly blessed nation and people; and
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WHEREAS, Sectarian warfare over Deeply held religious convictions springing from differing interpretations of the
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holy scriptures and inability settle differences like adults led to the early settlement of our country; and
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WHEREAS, Biblical teachings inspired, by providing counterexamples of what must be avoided at all costs, concepts of civil
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government that are contained in our Declaration of Independence
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and the Constitution of the United States which we are violating six ways to Sunday by doing this; and
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WHEREAS, Many of our great national leaders, among them
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President Washington, President Jackson, President Lincoln,
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President Wilson and President Reagan LOL, paid tribute to the
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influence of the Bible in our country's development, as
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exemplified by the words of President Jackson, who made reins for his horse out of the skins of Americans he had killed, among other things [2], that the Bible is
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"the rock on which our Republic rests"; and
---page 2---
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WHEREAS, The history of our country clearly illustrates the
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value shameful legacy of voluntarily applying the teachings of the scriptures, such as Deut 20:16 “do not leave alive anything that breathes. Completely destroy them ... as the LORD your God has commanded you” in
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the lives of individuals, families and societies; and
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WHEREAS, This nation now faces great challenges from lunatic Christian theocrats that will
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test it as it has never been tested before; and
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WHEREAS, Renewing our knowledge of and faith in God through
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holy scripture can strengthen us drag us backward into a new Dark Ages as a nation and a people;
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therefore be it
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RESOLVED, That the House of Representatives declare 2012 as
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the "Year of the Lolcat Bible” in Pennsylvania in recognition of both
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the formative insidious influence of the Bible on our Commonwealth and
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nation and our national need to study and apply point and laugh at the teachings of
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the holy scriptures.
    1. Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion, Great Britain: Bantam Press, 2006, 31.


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